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100% actual conversation (except the name is changed) from late 1998, when investment banks--like other go-go firms in the dot-com ecosystem--were starved for talent:
&xD;
CHRISTINE (my assistant): I have Gilligan Weiner from Robertson Stephens on the line. Are you available?
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&xD; [I don't know this Weiner but these days a call from Robertson is usually good news. Maybe he's representing an acquiror?]&xD;
&xD;
ME: Okay, I'll take it.... Hello, this is David.
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GILLIGAN: Hi, this is Gilligan Weiner from Robertson Stephens, and I'm calling you because you're on the board of Flycast.
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ME: Yes?
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GILLIGAN: I need to know the company's revenues, and the valuation of the last round.
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&xD; [is his voice cracking? has he even reached puberty yet?]&xD;
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ME: I see. Flycast is a private company, and so we don't publish financial information. Why are you asking?
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GILLIGAN: I'm doing research and I really need the revenues and valuation for Flycast.
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&xD; [compelling!]&xD;
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ME: Well, Flycast is a private company, and so we don't disclose that information.
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GILLIGAN: Oh... [awkward silence]&xD;
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ME: You know, I'd be happy to send you all the financials for Flycast if you would just fax me your tax returns first.
&xD; &xD; &xD; &xD;
GILLIGAN: Umm, what's your fax number?
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&xD; [I really swear to--well, whomever atheists swear to--that this is true.]&xD;
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ME: 650-853-7001.
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GILLIGAN: Do you want my tax returns or the firm's?
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ME: I really need both.
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GILLIGAN: Um, okay, I'll get back to you.
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ME: Great, look forward to it.
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GILLIGAN: Thank you, Bye.
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ME: Bye.
&xD;
I'd have loved to hear the conversation that ensued, as Gilligan asked the Skipper where he could get a copy of the firm's tax returns to send me.

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