by Donald J. Trump

"Whether you're involved in negotiations, war, public speaking, or merely socializing, learn about the person across from you and find out what he or she wants so that you can build a better relationship." - Donald J. Trump

I've heard stories about people who landed terrific jobs, not just because of their qualifications, but also because of common interests they had with the people hiring them. Granted, the applicant had to have the credentials to begin with, but lots of people do.

I once heard about a top law firm that hired a young lawyer because, in addition to excelling in law school, he held a master's degree in music. His music degree was the deciding factor because the partner who interviewed him also happened to be a musicologist and knew how much discipline it took to earn a music degree. The fact that they were both devoted to music provided them with a common bond that could help them work well together.

So know who you're talking to and where he or she is coming from. Whether you're involved in negotiations, war, public speaking, or merely socializing, learn about the person across from you and find out what he or she wants so that you can build a better relationship.

Frequently, people are so involved in trying to get what they want that they don't think of anyone other than themselves. They're so overcome with the brilliance of their idea that they ignore other people's needs and objectives and don't successfully connect.

At every level, relationships are built on listening, connections, common interests, and experiences. It is essential to be able to read your audience, whether that audience consists of a couple of people in your office or 40,000 in an amphitheater listening to you speak. The challenge is to find common ground.

For example, I was once involved in a very difficult negotiation and found myself disliking my adversary. My feelings placed a wall between us; my dislike made our dealings strained and unproductive. Our deal was on the verge of collapsing, when I discovered that my adversary was an avid golfer like myself. When we began our next session, I mentioned that I had heard he was a golfer. We started talking about golf, which eased the tension. When we resumed our business, we were more at ease, communicated more easily, and closed the deal.

Donald J. Trump is Chairman of Trump University.