Who Bails Out The Fed?

I woke up this morning, and the sunrise came up a deep shade of red.

In their latest bid to save the market from certain ruin, the Federal Reserve has committed $85 billion dollars over a 2-year period to bail out the crumbling insurance titan, American International Group (AIG). In return for this tax-payer chump change, the U.S. government will own 79.9 percent of the company.

Thankfully, Treasury Secretary Paulson put his foot down on bank bailouts; hopefully putting an end to the notion that banks will be pulled from their ocean of bad investments because they're too large to let sink.

There's a dilemma though, with billions and billions of dollars feeding this Corporate Socialism, who's going to bail out the Fed? What if the tax base becomes too weak from the faltering economy and the government has to turn to a new source of income?

Now that Uncle Sam owns 50 percent of America's home loans, and almost 80 percent of the second largest insurance provider in the world, here is the immediate future action that must be taken to prevent a massive economic failure...

1) Purchase General Motors so as to prevent a failure in the auto manufacturing sector. This will ultimately lead to a fleet of small, cheap cars that only come in black and can be purchased using special vouchers obtained from your local DMV.

2) Purchase the top 3 transportation and logistics companies in the country. Whether or not they're failing, they probably will soon and only the government has the capability to run such a large operation. This will serve as a cost-effective method for shipping the new cars.

3) Purchase FedEx. Sure they already have a postal service, but FedEx is diverting too much money away from where the government needs it to go- to the government.

4) Purchase all of the nation's farmland. Turn half into state parks, and the other half into corn fields for ethanol. All crops for food consumption will be imported henceforth.