5 Worst Ways to Blow Your Money in a Recession

As the stock market falls, and trillions of dollars of investment money vanishes, it never ceases to amaze some of us what kind of ridiculous things a company might sell, or even more ridiculous, what a person might buy.

1. iDiamond Headphones
Why do you think Paris Hilton stares so blankly every time she takes to the red carpet? It may not just be her own self awing, but possibly the tunes playing from her diamond studded earrings.

Are platinum grills on your teeth too much of a choking hazard at the gym? If so, get the attention you so painfully need with the iDiamond headphones from Heyerdahl jewelry, it's just the right moronic accessory to help you weather the oncoming recession.

These small earpieces boast a dazzling array of 204 diamonds set on 18 karat gold, and retailing for $6400. Compared to average headphones that cost about $20, I'd say these are a bargain!

2. P-Diddy's Jet fuel
Can't the little guy catch a break? Due to soaring gas prices, P-Diddy was forced to make a last ditch appeal to the Saudis via his video podcast. "Gas Prices are too F***ing high!" exclaimed the morally-bust hip hop celebrity. "I wanna give a shout out to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil, if you all could please send me some oil for my jet, I would truly appreciate it."

According to P-Diddy, the $250,000 coast to coast round trip fuel cost has left him so strapped for cash that he's actually started flying commercial airlines! Oh this can't be happening!

3. Wagiman LED Bubble Chair
Do you find yourself with too many scantily clad women lying around and nowhere to store them? Then rest assured that English designer Ben Rousseau has just the solution to your problem. With his lighted white fur "Wagiman" bubble chairs, you can cubby those pesky women out of the way of guests while still prominently displaying them from high atop your Paris Chateau.

While the actual price of these chairs is illusive, simpler non-lit models sell for upwards of $2000.00 each.

4. Chocopologie
Knipshildt's Chocopologie chocolate truffle is the only true way to show your feelings for her! At $2600.00 per pound, she'll know you're really, really sorry for what you did.

5. Starbucks
Surprise surprise, the greatest enemy is the one you know best. Let's say you're a social Starbucks customer who likes to enjoy a latte with a Cranberry scone in the morning before work. The end cost each day is about $6. No sweat.

Multiply that by 5 days and you're looking at a monthly cost of $126.50. That's $1518.00 per year. Add a shot of espresso to your order, and you're looking at a yearly cost of $1812.60.

Certainly that isn't as expensive as the Chocopologie or the iDiamond, but it's likely to be the one you're actually paying for.